And I saw it in the photo you took,
You trying to give me everything I was trying to give him
And me giving you everything the he gave me
Instead of what I truly have to offer.
I took on the indecisiveness
The knowing but not knowing
Id dreamt about you..
I claimed to not be the very person I was being to you
To not be the girl who lets her past afffect her future.
I didnt with him…
Then suffered a blow
Its not easy being in love with someone who doesnt love you
And doesnt care
Doesnt know how to care for anyone but themselves..
If you could let me wash myself clean,
But I find it childish and selfish of me to ask you to wait,
Let me be more me that I truly am and quit this self pity
I promise, nothing.
I will give all that I can, but I cannot promise pretty
And loveable
And open
These are things you must see and feel
Your own bias will chose to see or unsee whatever I offer…
But all I can, all I will, give.
Just let me sit and cry and howl till the moon is golden in my eyes again,
And the baggage doesnt weigh so much on the border of my mind.
After all, the last time I promised, I said I’d take my time to grieve.
Maybe its silly… but …
Just let me mentally wipe off this speck of yesteryear and then you can hold my hand again
But ruin me farther my dear,
I fear that then,
I shant return ever whole again.
